How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is accessible for pre-order! Here!

An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, in the event you favor my dulcet tones, hearken to along with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by means of my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind after I virtually by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to turn out to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You would name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my reminiscences and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about by chance occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by means of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it might not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set up to now, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the fallacious finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a trip by means of a decade of the inconceivable eventualities and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and steadily ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. In reality I used to be particularly informed, after I acquired the ebook deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that will create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to the entire elements that may probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I didn’t turn out to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular means to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any scenario.

You possibly can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a fairly secure guess that you just’ll find it irresistible. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so in the event you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I put up then please make it this one. I’ll be eternally in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the ebook and concerning the means of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the perfect, most satisfying factor I’ve ever accomplished in my grownup life. In the event you’ve adopted me for some time then you definitely’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really glad accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.